Thank you for raising awareness about this awful condition. Your work has the potential to reduce suffering and save lives. I spent decades in treatment for what was termed mental illness — first it was treatment resistant depression, after I didn’t get better despite a psychiatrist prescribing a large amount and variety of SSRIs and then Adderall. He sent me to another psychiatrist after six years of this drugging which he kept no records of. That psychiatrist said I was a good candidate for ECT, so I submitted to a course of ECT. When I became much more symptomatic after the ECT, that psychiatrist rediagnosed me with borderline personality. Once I had that diagnosis, the polypharmacy went into overdrive. It was no longer just an antidepressant. There was always an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer and or antipsychotic. The particular drugs and the doses of these drugs were constantly being changed as I got passed around between prescribers and as they grew frustrated with me, they would often up the dose of my antipsychotic. I remember now that I used to sit in the group sessions of an IOP DBT program I attended five times. There was one stretch when I felt so agitated every day during group that I would take a pen or marker and draw flowers in a notebook during the entire group session. I needed to do something with my hands because I felt so agitated and I was trying to stay in the room and be a good patient. One day another patient came up to me and mentioned my drawings. She said to me,. “Your flowers? That’s true crazy.”. She was right. Every flower looked like it was shaking, like it was having a seizure, like it was about to explode off its stem. I probably still have some of these drawings around. I don’t think I threw all of them out. But back then I had never heard the term akathisia. It was only a couple of years ago, on this website, where I learned what it is and realized that that’s what I was suffering from all those years. When Jill talked about people losing their family and friends over this condition, because from the outside it can appear that the person is just being willful (as they say in DBT), I felt that deeply. I lost so much. To this day I’m afraid to go to the doctor for any reason.